Dale Martin
City Manager
Fernandina Beach
May 14, 2017 12:30 a.m.
Sunday is Mother’s Day, so I would like to offer my appreciation to all mothers, especially mine, Patricia Martin. I just returned from a few days back in Michigan, spending those days in the house in which I was raised. The house seems a little smaller- I remember playing for house on the floors in the family room downstairs and my bedroom (shared with my brother) and the hallway upstairs (the formal living and dining rooms were “sacred” –even though they were rarely used, and the basement was much too cluttered). We also spent most of our time outside: playing in the street (football, hockey), the driveway (whiffleball), or the backyard (some activity created on the spur-of-the-moment). I left that house in 1989.
The reason for my visit to Michigan this past weekend was to attend to my oldest daughter Emily’s college graduation (Wayne State University, Bachelor of Arts). It is through Emily, and her two younger twin sisters, Abigail and Meaghan, that I want to offer special Mother’s Day recognition to their mother, Elizabeth Martin (nee Fachie).
Beth and I first met through a friend, got married, and then left our families when we moved to Ft. Benning, Georgia, as I began my active duty service with the U.S. Army. This was late 1990, the immediate aftermath of the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait and the preparation for what would become Desert Storm (or the First Gulf War). We lived in a small apartment not far from the post.
My training was expedited, but with the rapid action and conclusion of that war, I was never sent to the the Middle East, but rather to Germany. Beth was able to join me about six months later. We lived in a town about fifteen miles or so away from the post. Beth took a job in the Army’s dental office (she had previously worked as a dental assistant).
We soon welcomed Emily. Emily was born in a German hospital due to our distance from American military facilities. When Emily was nine months old, I separated from the Army and we returned to Michigan. That period was a difficult time for our family.
As I looked for post-military employment, we lived with my brother. While I am ever grateful to my brother for his hospitality, it was not an ideal arrangement for our little family. Beth remained home with Emily while I bounced around a few jobs, eventually securing a job with an electronics retailer. My training took me away for several months.
In the midst of that training, I was able to finally secure a city management job. While the job was in Michigan, we couldn’t afford a home in the community, so I moved into my family’s nearby cottage. Without potable drinking water, however, Beth and Emily remained with my brother while a new home was prepared. We saw each other once during the week and again each weekend for several months.
We settled into our new home and soon welcomed Abigail and Meaghan. Shortly thereafter, I took another job out of the area and we were separated again for months, returning to the difficult routine of seeing each other on the weekends. After finally getting together again, we were divorced after nearly three years. We were separated again, this time for good.
My decision to divorce may not make much sense looking back, but it was a decision that I made, that I accept responsibility for, and that has shaped my life ever since. It also shaped Beth’s life, in many ways that I can little imagine. In a painfully brief moment, she became an unemployed single mother of three young daughters. We saw each other on the weekends.
The past few months, and especially this week, are a testament to Beth’s nurturing motherhood. With me playing the role of an absent father, Beth tended to the girls in all the moments that I missed: routine mornings before school, family dinners, evening homework, and simple family togetherness. Beth alone raised our three daughters and that is what I especially recognize her this Mother’s Day.
Emily struggled, but has persevered to complete her degree. She may have changed her area of study a few times, but she has her degree and at least a steady job while she seeks a more professional career.
Abigail and Meaghan graduated from high school last year. Both of them excelled in the classroom, the school symphony, and in athletics. Meaghan opted to remain in Michigan and has completed her freshman year at Concordia (Ann Arbor). She is studying to become a nurse.
Abigail also decided to attend Concordia University, but her campus is in Wisconsin- the most introverted of the three took the biggest leap to leave home. She continues to play field hockey as she studies forensic science. She’ll join me in Fernandina Beach this summer.
Beth often joked that she wanted the girls to have their father’s brains and her beauty. They obviously haven’t done too bad with her brains, beauty, and caring.
Happy Mothers Day, Beth (and to your mother, as well). Very well done.