Police blotter blast . . .

Submitted by Deborah Lavery PowersPolice Station Sign

Staff Reporter

The following are highlights from some of the narratives on file at the Fernandina Beach Police Headquarters. 

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 Gazebo Guy didn’t exactly choose the best place to snooze away at 0730 in the morning.  His choice of a sleeping bench happens to be located in a very public park in our city.

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Appeared Nervous told Police that she had locked her keys in her car “while attempting to get fuel,” but didn’t need help.  No, no help needed.    Perhaps that was because there was a baggie “containing a green leafy substance” sitting in clear view inside her vehicle? 

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Is Definitely Old Enough really 24– or just 17?  Perhaps the answer depends on where  Definitely  wants to be of an evening?  She apparently dropped her pocketbook in the middle of Centre Street.   One license inside her purse shows Definitely a minor, the other a woman of drinking age.    But right now, both licenses are being held at Police Headquarters until the owner comes to claim them. 

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Disorderly #1 and Disorderly #2 didn’t get to stay until the end of the concert — no matter how many times #1 refused to leave, or #2 yelled at the officers and “screamed obscenities” at them.    Needless to say, they left.  In a police car.

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Amazing What Ya’ Find was certainly surprised to discover 3 large pots of what appeared to be Marijuana growing under some heavy underbrush he was hired to cut down.           

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Fearful ran off down the beach at about 8:45 p.m., afraid he was going to get  the “whipping”  he was warned he would receive if he got his clothes wet.  His clothes were already wet.    Fearful’s mother called the Police about an hour after he had run off.    Fearful, when located at the hotel in which the family was staying, reported that he is “normally” punished with a belt and sometimes he “cannot sit down afterwards.”   Fearful is 9 years old.  The Department of Children and Families was contacted.

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Gave Several False Names really — really — didn’t want to identify himself.  But he finally did.   He was then arrested on an active warrant for Violation-of-Parole Burglary.

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Just as she was about to start her car and drive away from a downtown bar, I Don’t Want To Say preferred to keep to herself the number of drinks she had consumed. She didn’t want to get out of her vehicle, either.  Nor did she have any desire to perform a Field Sobriety Exercise.   Based on her slurred speech, bloodshot eyes , and being “uneasy” on her feet — along with the strong odor of alcohol on her breath – I Don’t Want To was arrested and transported to the Nassau County Jail.

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Latent Prints may have left his fingerprints behind when he lifted, so to speak,  some $5000 worth of scrap metal out of  a dumpster.  The dumpster was located behind a locked chain link fence.  The case is still open.

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Herself had signed a No Contact Injunction against Himself.  Yet, Herself invited Himself to spend the night with her.  And he did.    They started arguing in the morning.  Battery ensued.    Both parties were reported to the State Attorney’s Office for violation of the  No Contact Injunction..

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Open House Party told Police he was having a party for a friend.  But soon, all sorts of people he didn’t know began to show up and things had gotten “out of control.”  Cars and teens and open alcoholic containers everywhere — accompanied by loud noise.  And, oh yes, the aroma of marijuana.  Though Open House  Party said he had tried to get the “trouble makers”  (what he called the drinkers) to leave before Police arrived, he, himself — at 20 years of age — was standing there holding an “open alcoholic beverage container” when Police showed up.  Citation time.

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Following the break-up of the open house party, above,  Can You Believe had  her cell phone stolen about 0200.  Can You Believe used another person’s smartphone to call her own.  Unknown answered — and said she would return the stolen cell to Can You Believe at the party house.    They met as agreed, but  at that time, Unknown, accompanied by three other females,  announced she wasn’t giving the cell back.   Can You  backed away and called Police when Unknown tried to start a physical altercation.   Can You Believe was able, after meeting Unknown, to provide Police with name Unknown used when identifying herself.

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Surprised As Could Be parked her unlocked (repeat, unlocked) car in the farthest away possible spot when arriving at the grocery store.  When she returned to her vehicle, she discovered that someone had rifled through her purse which she  had left on the front seat. Of the unlocked car.   Only one thing was missing:  a prescription bottle containing approximately 45 Oxycodone.

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Needing Help calls Police for assistance on a fairly regular basis.  This week her worries centered around people possibly entering her yard and house, taking things, moving things, leaving trash, etc.  She wanted pictures taken to document the “evidence” of these invasions and thefts.  Police took both inside and outside digital images, as requested.  They also noted that Needing Help appeared to show “signs of malnutrition,” and to “be excessively thin and weak.”     The Department of Children and Families was notified.

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Out of Town Careless Guy left his firearm behind when he checked out of a local hotel. Housekeeping found it.  Police returned the firearm to Careless Guy when he came by Police Headquarters to pick it up.

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A recent Domestic Battery report involved lots of people — all in one condo.  There was Reporting Person 1;  Witnesses 1,  2 and 3;  along with Suspects 1 and 2.    Everybody agreed the condo had been straightened up before Police arrived, and everybody agreed that what started out as an argument between 2 of the people turned into verbal arguments between any number of the total present, and physical altercations started between two (or was it three?) of the individuals.   The State Attorney’s Office will be notified of the details and determine if any warrants will be issued.

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Don’t Forget Your Personal Belongings  managed to leave her wallet, money, cell phone  and 2 licenses (hers and her friend’s) on the shelf of a portable potty stall.  She returned minutes later to see a man coming out of this stall — which was clearly marked “Women.”  When she went inside, her wallet and money were still there.  Gone were the licenses and cell phone.

Deb Powers Cropped 3Editor’s Note: After a career in adult education, where writing, course design and development were her “beat”, Deborah now enjoys the world of freelancing, and volunteering.  Deborah covers the police beat for the Fernandina Observer writing weekly “Police blotter blasts . . .”   We thank Deborah for her many contributions.

June 27, 2013 10:17 p.m.