Submitted by Deborah Lavery Powers
Staff Reporter
The following are highlights from some of the narrative reports on file at Police Headquarters
Victim’s fenced-in back yard sits right next to a beach access. And folks walking by can clearly see what’s in the yard. And there is a gate leading into the back yard from the access. What WAS in the yard on the morning of the 29th was no longer back there by the afternoon of the same day. Gone is a surfboard, 3 rods and reels, and 2 beach chairs. The gate was unlocked.
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“Lull” can conjure up all sorts of calming feelings — like being lulled to sleep. But in the case of a recent Criminal Mischief Maker, calming wasn’t something he had in mind! “Lull” was the word used to describe the kind of forklift that Mischief Maker decided to damage.
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Note Writer has been busy these last few days. And Judges seem to be his main concern. Notes have been found at the entrance of the Courthouse and also dropped here and there around town. One read in part, “Get the mercenaries for 99% Judges America ordered.” Police believe they know the identity of Note Writer.
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Somebody dropped his car keys on the beach. They were found and turned in to Police Headquarters. Makes one wonder how Somebody got home!
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“Keying” a car isn’t nice. And Victim doesn’t know why he was targeted. He hasn’t made any enemies that he is aware of.
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Male was chasing Female around the hotel parking lot. When Police caught up with Female, she wasn’t happy. And admitted she was “drunk.”. Police also found her to be loud and disorderly. And she went to jail! Why? It’s called “Capias” — a court order which requires an officer to detain a suspect.” This particular capias was issued in Coffee County.
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Petty Thief put shrimp in her shopping cart. And then, whoosh, the shrimp disappeared — right into Thief’s purse. Several other grocery items were discovered in her purse, as well, when she was stopped by the store manager as she walked out of the store.
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Traveling down Sadler (a 35 mph zone) at 44 mph is not too cool, especially if you have some green leafy substance in a clear glass bottle laying on the passenger seat beside you. Speed Demon was sent on home with a Summons to Appear in his pocket.
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Arrested One told Police on his way to jail that he was sorry he had urinated “on that old dude’s car,” but didn’t regret getting into a fight with the man he punched in the face over the incident. That guy “got what he deserved.”
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They were small and green, or oval and brown, or even blue and oblong or green and oblong — in other words, they were a virtual treasure trove of colorful pills. All were found in the truck after Suspect said, oh no, there were no illegal drugs in there. And she assured Officers that she would prove she had prescriptions for all that colorful variety. She left the scene, on her way to Walgreens that very minute to prove she legally had the pills. She didn’t show up with the proof — not that evening, anyway. (She has 30 days to do so.)
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Going Wrong Way near the beach wanted to be honest so told Police his license had been suspended for non payment of a ticket. When the Officer checked, it turned out there were “several failures to pay.” Handcuff time. Asked if he has “any weed on him.” Going Wrong Way said “No, it’s in the truck.” He was released with a Notice to Appear for Possession, and a Uniform Traffic Citation (the “official” term for a traffic ticket) was issuedfor Driving without a License. He was given a court date of 12 June.
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Going Wrong Way downtown went directly to jail rather than receiving a Notice to Appear. Her Intoxilyzer test showed her blood alcohol concentration level at 235 — which could indicate she was at a state of total mental confusion, and could need assistance walking. Police noticed she was “very unsteady on her feet.”
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Ms. Big Bucks took $4000 out of one bank, but when she got to a second bank to deposit the funds there — after leaving the money in her locked office for 4 hours in the meantime — the Teller at Bank #2 advised her that there was only $3000 in the envelope handed to her. This is the second large loss that Ms. Big Bucks has reported recently. Investigations are underway.
Editor’s Note: After a career in adult education, where writing, course design and development were her “beat”, Deborah now enjoys the world of freelancing, and volunteering. Deborah covers the police beat for the Fernandina Observer writing weekly “Police blotter blasts . . .” We thank Deborah for her many contributions.
May 30, 2013 11:06 p.m.