Submitted by Dave Scott
April 30, 2019 10:00 a.m.
The fifth annual edition of the Amelia Island News-Wrecker hit the streets Monday, April 29 with front page stories touting the island as the future site of the Winter Olympic downhill ski trials, warning readers about massive caravans of illegal Canadian immigrants headed our way, and describing a bucket brigade program designed to reduce dangerously high ocean levels.
According to News-Wrecker Editor Anita Nuderbeer, the newspaper is being distributed just prior to this week’s May 3-5 Shrimp Festival. It will be available in bars, restaurants and shops on Amelia Island and various other Nassau County locations.
“We cover articles that the fake news organization are afraid to touch,” says Ms. Nuderbeer. “Readers of the News-Wrecker can rest assured that we stay on top of fast-breaking news despite the fact that we only publish one edition a year.
“Because of our annual schedule sometimes we have to make up the news before it takes place,” she explains. “As a result we make a few mistakes here and there but we don’t really care and it’s too late now to do anything about it anyway. And we don’t really try all that hard either.”
Ms. Nuderbeer said that when the first Wrecker debuted in 2015 Publisher Shirley U. Jest never anticipated producing another one, but, she said, the paper’s readers and advertisers convinced her to change her mind because, she explains: “They are hungry for a local factual and accurate news source.”
Editor Nuderbeer said that despite what her publisher says accuracy, timeliness, ethics and writing skills aren’t priorities in her newsroom. “Look, I’ve got my hands full just trying to keep this staff sober in order to get the next edition out,” said the grizzled journalism veteran.
Last year’s edition featured “news” stories about massive oil discoveries off Amelia Island’s coast, new tenements planned for downtown Fernandina Beach and Russian foreign exchange students caught meddling in Fernandina Beach High School student council elections.
The free tabloid News-Wrecker boasts the tagline “Amelia Island’s sacred cows make the best burgers.” An online version of last year’s paper is available at www.amelianewswrecker.com and this year’s will be available online eventually.
The News Wrecker pokes fun at the island’s small but vocal liberal and right-wing populations, local governing bodies, politicians, the Shrimp Festival, local news gathering organizations, and any other area sacred cows it can lasso.
Businesses or individuals interested in assisting in producing next year’s issue or advertising in it can contact Dave Scott at 770/354-7228 or [email protected]
This is the best fake news I’ve ever read! I was belly laughing throughout. Please don’t ever stop publishing this paper!!!