Submitted by Deborah Lavery Powers
Staff Reporter
The following are highlights from some of the narrative reports on file at the Fernandina Beach Police Headquarters.
Officers could see the healthy, recently fertilized and watered, marijuana plants from 30 feet away when they went into Number One’s back yard. But, neither Number One, nor her son nor his girlfriend, were “aware” of any marijuana growing back there. [Marijuana is now gone, courtesy of the Fernandina Police Department.]
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Number Two urinated in Central Park when facing a Pop Warner football game and a family in the park. [Arrested.]
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Ex-Boyfriend went to Police Headquarters to report that Number Three (his ex-girlfriend) had just that morning sent him a Facebook Friend Request. Sounds okay —- except that Ex-boyfriend had had an Injunction for Protection Against Dating Violence served on him by Number Three just 6 days earlier. That injunction strictly forbids Ex-Boyfriend from contacting Number Three in any way, shape or form — directly or indirectly. [ Ex-Boyfriend will not be responding to FB friend request.]
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Number Four left $300 in his unlocked truck — in his driveway — one evening. [Money managed to take a hike in the night.]
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First, during a pat down, there was a bulge in Number Five’s pocket (consistent with the size/feel of a plastic baggie with green leafy stuff in it) — and then the bulge was gone. When asked by police what he had just “tossed,” Number Five answered, “Nothing.” [The baggie was found under the passenger seat of the car — but neither of the passengers inside the vehicle had any knowledge of how it got from Number Five’s pocket , through the air, into the car, and under that seat.]
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Number Six left her expensive automobile in a downtown parking lot – unlocked – for two days. [A Sirius FM radio and a CD carousel were amongst the missing when she returned.]
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Number Seven allegedly went into her tenant’s rental unit, and while there, stole a blank check, which she later wrote out to herself for the rent due her. Then the check bounced (it was drawn on a closed account). When tenant asked Number Seven why she did such a thing, Number Seven is reported to have replied, “What choice did I have?.”
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Number Eight decided, for some reason, to drive through a Citizen’s front yard, knocking over her mailbox and driving through her flowerbed, in the process.[Case pending further investigation leads.]
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Number Nine “had things to do and needed to leave” – and that’s why, as he explained to Police, he hadn’t returned the iPhone 5 he had borrowed, but had, instead, handed it off to somebody else – a young male he did not know. [Not returning a $875 iPhone to its rightful owner is called Grand Theft. Number Nine went to Police Headquarters in a cruiser.]
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Number Ten, stopped for a suspected DUI, told Police that , “no”, he had not consumed any alcoholic beverages prior to his being stopped that evening. His Intoxilyzer results, however, showed a result of 0.186. [According to the Notre Dame Office of Alcohol and Drug Education, an individual with a 0.160 — 0.199 reading has the appearance of being “a sloppy drunk.”]
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Number Eleven’s 3.22 carat Champagne Diamond was put into her unlocked car, and whoosh, within four hours, the diamond was gone. [Number Eleven hadn’t realized the driver’s side door had not been secured.]
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Number Twelve lost (or had stolen) some 22 “cards” — some credit, some debit, some insurance. [Twenty-two, you say?]
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Number Thirteen stuck her purse behind the passenger seat of her car before she got out and, then leaving the vehicle unlocked, walked down to the beach. Four hours later, Number Thirteen returned to her car. Purse and contents gone. [Police later returned to the scene and searched the area to no avail.]
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Editor’s Note: After a career in adult education, where writing, course design and development were her “beat”, Deborah now enjoys the world of freelancing, and volunteering. Deborah covers the police beat for the Fernandina Observer writing weekly “Police blotter blasts . . .” We thank Deborah for her many contributions.
September 12, 2013 1:34 p.m.