Police blotter blast . . .

Submitted by Deborah Lavery PowersPolice Station Sign

Roving Reporter

The following are highlights from some of the narrative reports on file at the Fernandina Beach Police Headquarters

Machete Waver told Police that all he did was “fight” the other truck drivers who were “bullying” him.  The fighting,  according to Victims and Witness,  consisted of Machete Waver jumping out of his truck and , first, swinging a 24” long black pipe at  Victim #1 who had asked him to move his truck to keep it from blocking the entrance way to a business here in town.  Victim #1 ended up with a swollen hand.  Then Victim #2 said he tried to step in because he was afraid somebody was about to get seriously hurt.  #2 ended up with a swollen finger and a black and blue mark on his back for his troubles.. At this point all 4 victims (yeah, there were four) decided to run.  And rocks went  flying through the air after them.  Large rocks.  Then Machete Waver supposedly came at them again. The blade on the machete he used on his last “charge” was 24 inches long.   Machete Waver went to jail.

                                                  ———-

Juvenile stole a phone and was believed to be attempting/planning to sell it.  But Juvenile’s Mom stepped in — and called Police and turned in the stolen phone.  Juvenile was soon on his way to the Juvenile Justice Center in Jacksonville.

                                                  ———-

Sisterly love?  First Sister asked Police to come and remove Second Sister from her home, saying Second was drunk and First didn’t want her in her home any longer.  Second  “continually interrupted”  Police Officer, and kept “yelling loudly” to the point she was considered interfering with the investigation because she refused to stop her behavior.    Second  was then arrested for “Obstruction.”  When asked where the scratches on her face and knuckles came from, she responded that she “fell out of a truck.”  On the way to jail, Second confessed to Police that First actually had caused the injuries by pushing her to the floor before Police arrived.   Ergo, a second complaint was written up.  On First Sister for “Alleged Domestic Battery.”

                                                  ———- 

Surveillance Wins Again!    Thief (an employee of the store) managed to steal $130 from a cash register and hide it “inside her bra.”  She was caught on camera, and told Police that she “has a problem stealing merchandise/money and is seeking psychiatric care.” 

                                                  ———-

Not Sure thinks he remembers where he left his wallet at high noon one day.  But Police Officer was uncertain whether Not Sure had misplaced it — or if someone had stolen it.  No matter.  The wallet is gone (at least for now).  It contained $250 in cash and, amongst other things,  an expired Florida driver’s license.

                                                  ———

Young Lady (seen on video) was apparently happily going around South Georgia using Victim’s credit card.  Or trying to.  The only charge actually recorded was one at a grocery store for $344.96.

                                                  ———-

Unruly was removed from the downtown bar.  He was also removed from town when Police discovered he had an active warrant out for his arrest.  Police transported Unruly over the bridge and down the road to Yulee and the Nassau County Detention Center.

                                                  ———-

Neighbors will be neighbors?  Let’s hope not if they are as loving as these ones!    Neighbor One complained to Police that somebody had torn a large chunk off the cactus in her front yard, and she was pretty sure she knew who was the villain:  Neighbor Two.  Neighbor One also told Police that Unknown- Someone-in-the-Neighborhood had put a note in her mailbox telling her that her yard was a “eye sore” and to clean it up!

                                                  ———-

Girlfriend said she kicked Boyfriend out.  And he left — to return the next night when she was asleep — at which point, he jumped onto the bed and battered her.  And cut off her air supply by choking her.  Her neck appeared to be  red, as though she had been choked as she claimed, and there were fresh bruises all over her body which she claimed were the results of the battery — which included Boyfriend throwing her against the wall. Girlfriend advised that his battery had been a fact of her life ever since he moved in 8 months ago.  Boyfriend went to jail. 

                                                  ———-

Hullo There went swimming, leaving sunglasses, keys, shoes, cell phone and wallet  (containing $450) on the beach before running into the ocean.  When he got out, only shoes and keys were still on the beach.  Hullo

There!

                                                  ———-

$177-Gone-But-Not-Forgotten is one more person to realize that maybe leaving cash in her pocketbook, leaving her pocketbook on the front seat floorboard, then  locking the car, and toodling off onto the beach,  isn’t necessarily the way to win a Smart Idea award. 

                                                  ———-

Bike Owner’s 26-inch silver and black Mountain Mongoose bicycle was whisked away from Bike Owner’s back yard right in front of him, so to speak.  His girlfriend saw two Villains in the back yard, informed Bike Owner and he dashed out the back door just as Villain #1 dropped the bicycle he was riding and dashed off.  But Villian #2 kept peddling and got away as Bike Owner ran after him in hot pursuit.

                                                  ———-

Dead Beat Dad is now in jail.  Failure to pay child support in the amount of $400, and Failure to Pay in the amount of $455.

                                                  ———-

BMW Guy was “very respectful and cooperative.”  But he was also very drunk if the Intoxilizer results are accurate.   According to the  Office of Alcohol and Drug Education, his .181 reading earns him the moniker of being a “sloppy drunk.”  One who might exhibit nausea.  Could “exhibit nausea”  possibly mean the same thing as, “Beware:  this guy might puke all over you?” 

                                                  ———-

Feels Good claimed he had only had one beer and one shot of Tequila.  Hmmmm.  I guess that explains why he had trouble standing up and smelled like a brewery [my words, not the officer’s], exhibited bloodshot eyes and slurred speech.

                                                  ———-

Reporter’s Note:

 As I read through the police reports I have copied out each week, I am reminded over and over what a splendid job our officers do serving us.  Yes, they arrest those who do stupid, illegal things, and they protect us from danger whenever circumstances call for it.  They also stand by our sides when we need comfort — as they did for hours until family could arrive after a wife found her husband dead in bed beside her, and another time when they thought a confused Alzheimer’s patient should not  be left alone.    The list goes on.  My heart goes out to them every time they face ultimate sadness like the recent drowning of 17-year-old Castor Nova Gray near Fort Clinch Park, just as it goes out to them so many other  times. 

This week there were two cases where a young person beat up — with direct punches — a parent or grandparent.  Police also responded to the scene of parents getting into fisticuffs over who had custody that very hour of the crying/screaming little one sitting in one of their cars. (One parent had just grabbed the toddler away from the other.)  And yet another incident involved schizophrenia/alcohol/homelessness/despair. I tear up at some of the human conditions our police see every day.  I also come away each week admiring even more  — and appreciating  and honoring even more —  those who serve us as  City of Fernandina Beach Police Officers.

If you wonder if Police “remember them all,”  let me quote Deputy Chief of Police Mark Foxworth: 

“I had an old sergeant tell me once years ago that he had served in the Korean War and that the things he saw there were horrible. He said he was able to rationalize them in his mind, however, because those things  all occurred in a foreign country that he would never go back to.   He said on the flip side, as a police officer, he saw too many tragedies in his own city and was reminded of them often as he passed the same house, street corner, business — or other landmark —  where the tragedies occurred.”

Deb Powers Cropped 3Editor’s Note: After a career in adult education, where writing, course design and development were her “beat”, Deborah now enjoys the world of freelancing, and volunteering.  Deborah covers the police beat for the Fernandina Observer writing weekly “Police blotter blasts . . .”   We thank Deborah for her many contributions.

June 6, 2013 10:21 p.m.