Evelyn C. McDonald
Arts & Culture Reporter
August 24, 2016 3:00 p.m.
Last weekend, I went to stay with my daughter and grandchildren at the JW Marriott in Orlando. The hotel features a Lazy River in the pool area. For those of you not familiar with this latest in pool development, it’s basically a long track where you can float along on a current using floats that look like inner tubes. I was anxious about this part of the weekend because of my first experience with a Lazy River.
Last year we went to the Hilton Bonet Creek where they also had a Lazy River. My daughter explained that you grabbed a float and let the current take you along the river. That was the theory. The practice was quite a bit different. At least for me.
I got into the river and then the float and I had a prolonged discussion about who was going to be on top. The first thing I tried was to throw myself on top of the float. Unfortunately I hit sort of off center and the float flipped me under the water and landed on top of me. Score 1 for the float.
My next thought was to just sit down on the float. Mind you, I’m standing waist deep in water at this point. Yes, you guessed it. I jumped up, tried a mid-air spin, and landed on the edge of the float. Whereupon the float flipped me over, pushed me underwater, and fell on top of me. At that point I was 0 for 2 with the float.
By this time, my daughter had made a complete circuit of the river and found me. She said, “Why don’t you just put the float over your head?” I restrained myself from saying that it was because I loved being submerged in water with a DayGlo yellow float laughing at me. Instead I dutifully put the float over my head and set off where I soon learned about another feature of Lazy Rivers and round floats.
Something round does not steer very well. The Lazy River features a series of waterfalls and streams of water falling into the river. Yep, I hit every one of them. Then there were children whose idea of fun was doing a cannon ball into the river. They were careful not to land on anyone but the splashing was hard to avoid.
Despite all prior experience, this year was different. I got in the water, put the float over my head, and set out. It was great fun to float along, get caught in float jams with other people, and let the waterfalls find you. A perfect summer activity.